People die when they are killed
put inside jokes here with no context
You have got to be kidding everyone knows that water is not wet
collective gasps heard throughout the class
Me: no no no no no
everyone starts yelling and drags the teacher into it
Me: what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck
J: mother fucker
K:why us
H: What the hell I'm trying to read
A wild Weston has appeared
Wallace is like Starbucks
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The Miranda Rights have been enacted.
Martin Luther Kink
Santa Claus the Thicc Bih
there ain't room for two on this tractor
skin colored ring XD
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@evastardust
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Doest thou wanteth to fricking go, good sir?
Pole-dancing Hamlet
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Poor Yorick.
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Unplugs toaster after the toasters toast toast I love toast! The toast pops out when you UNPLUG the toaster The frick?
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@evastardust
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ALAS POOR YORICK I KNEW HIM HORATIO A FELLOW OF INFINITE JEST AND MOST EXCELLENT FANCY!!!!!!!
Muppet Polonious
"You cheated with my wife!"
"But you made me!"
"Demetrius got his shoe stuck on the backboard."
shrieks "WHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?"
Teacher: writes the beginning of the Gettysburg Address on the board for a public speaking activity before turning to Connor "Alright Connor, I want you to say this like you're terrified. Like you're really scared."
Connor: "Do you want me to say exactly what's on the board?"
Teacher: "Um….yeah…I mean, you can add stuff but keep it similar. Don't make up an entirely new paragraph to say."
Connor: shrugs "Okay….Four score and seven…ago."
Teacher: "Wait, what?" looks at board while class laughs "Okay, okay, okay. There's no need to make fun of my copying abilities."
"Yellow post it note…"
"Maybe that's why you're so viscous?"
"Peanut butter!"
"The street is cloudy."
He's your son?!
I have a son?!
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@evastardust
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50 Year Old Chain Smoking Grandma
Mary the door-to-door salesman
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"Don't ask me, I eat porridge for a living."
bread-bread
Are you calling me a llama?
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@evastardust
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STAB HIM!
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STAB HIM!
Sorry I’m busy dying. XD
now for something completely different
A man walked into a bar alright?
Right.
He asked for a hot bartender becuase the bartender was a girl right?
Right.
So they sent out someone cosplaying as Denim from Death Parade right?
Ri- WAIT DENIM? WHERE IS THIS BAR I NEED TO FIND IT AND HAVE ME A PIECE OF THAT!
is it legally possible to marry a sheet of paper
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PINK HORSE! EFFING PANGOLIN!!!!
Me: I adopted two more children
Them: WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS!?
Alternate:
Me: I FORGOT a CHILD
Them: Wow you're a terrible mother
Takes a swig of Dr. Pepper like it's alcohol