book
"oh no, my potatofish is broken. don't worry, it came with replacements."
Quotes from the List of Completely Weird and Random Things We’ve Overheard… (About 15 quotes will be posted daily, and feel completely free to add your own!)
@IamNOTachickenok
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1019 comments
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book
Did Buttons really turn into a bird?
Are you happy now? I've stabbed you, you nut
Is that Blackbeard??!?
No, I'm Blackbeard.
!!!?
You know what he did when I told him I loved him?
…he shot your leg off
For the new unicorn
Man for sale! Buy my booty!
person_off
Deleted user
"burn them at the stake with steak cause they cant die hungry"
pets
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"Local angsty teen screams at the sight of a child, and they hang out at a pit."
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"help this dumb fuckig series (/aff) is shaking my brain like a maraca"
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"Undertale but warrior cats"
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"roblox fic"
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"The dove is not dead but its not having a good time"
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"Will they wont they (they will) / JUST KISS ALREADY"
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"I have no idea what I’m doing but FUCK IT WE BALL"
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"fluffy fluff. like a jarful of marshmallow fluff whilst cuddling a bunch of bunnies on a cozy bed covered in soft blankets."
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"reader asmr"
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"forget it im moving back to wattpad"
pets
- "Quick, how do you drink coffee?"
"Scalding hot."
"With a lot of regret."
"Cheesy."
pets
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"I'm working on becoming the world's first theta male."
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"Lambda male grindset."
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"Gamma male shenanigans."
book
“Why are we italicizing?” “to convince” “to convince who?” “The italians”
person_off
Deleted user
"guys I can confirm Mario is not Jesus"
language
"It's… a unique type of milk that's basically just the excess of whatever cheese disn't become.. y'know.. cheese."
Me to one of the littles I CG for upon them asking what buttermilk was :/
book
“I didn’t know being a lesbian was contiguous!”
person_off
Deleted user
"i hate the song 'True Colours'"
"you know she wrote that song for her friend who died"
"(insert chaldean word that idk how to spell [basically means sorry for ur loss]) but womp womp"
person_off
Deleted user
"i thought you said 'emation', like is that a type of abortion or something?!!?"
pets
- "Can I get my teeth replaced with rubber?"
pets
- "Of course, I slammed into these ones with all the dignity of a dinosaur riding a skateboard, but you get my point."
group
"Where's your mom?"
"I AM MY MOM-"
"oH"
book
“Circle it, mark it in blood, sacrifice a chicken, I don’t care”
person_off
Deleted user
"damn, i think u were a bird in your past life"
"yeah either that or i was REALLY into bestiality"
group
(PFFT)
person_off
Deleted user
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"its not my fault your golden dick was glimmering!"
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"Five isn't gone, hes like a poo. he's there for a while, and then he just flushed away. he will live on in the sewers"
person_off
Deleted user
"im going to have a ton of mental breakdowns so i can level up right? then im going to merge them altogether and have a Super Mental Breakdown™ and jump off of a bridge"
person_off
Deleted user
"hey miss can we play kahoot now"
"omg just gimme a second"
my friend sitting next to me "a siNGLE MUM WHO WORKS TWO JOBS-"
book
"she was retired from life at the age of old."
"the church gave her a choir because she sang like a bird, and looked like a bird, and was a bird."
person_off
Deleted user
(I KMOW WHAT THATS REFERANCING!!!!)
book
(OMG NO WAYYY!!)
(my band teacher to a trombone player) “yes, dad?”
book
sees picture of snake “birbo? Yes… this is a bird.”
book
“Life didn’t give us lemons, it gave us bitter oranges and citron and we gave ourselves lemons. Technically, we gave life lemons, what’s life gonna do about that? Life doesn’t make lemonade!”
group
XDD
book
“Nomopa- monopa-….” “Monopa?” “… I’m gonna go now, speech is not for me. I’m gonna live in the woods and make bird sounds for now on.”
(Note: the attempted word was ‘monopoly’)
book
“Yeah, living in the age of rules and regulations can feel pretty suffocating.”