"I got bored so I wrote my name."
Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!
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“Hey mom, I’m gay…”
“I’m happy too, Sweetie.”
"I'm going to shave your head and then tattoo your birthday on it so I never forget it!"
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sprays febreeze
"THOT REPELLENT!"
-Random kid in the hallway at a friend
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Friend: passes me paper
Me: unfolds it
Paper: reads #Bencutio
Me: flips it over, writes #Hamratio, and tosses it back
Friend: reading Look for me tomorrow, and you'll find me a grave man.
Me: And that's the Elizabethan version of "What are you gonna do? Stab me?"
"Saint Tony Stark, pray for us!"
-Me during confirmation prep.
"BuT wHy DiDn'T yOu CoMe To mY tEa PaRtY?!"
"BECAUSE, BETHANY, I MADE BISCUITS!"
-a conversation between two seniors in english 4
(About the US Constitution) "They took that whole section out. And it wasn't like a google doc. They had to like yeet it out of there."
"Fuck you Thomas Jefferson"
Yo we were talking about the Declaration of Independence and someone brought up the fact that Thomas Jefferson basically plagiarized John Lock in the "All men are born equal with life liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" and all that jazz and then some kid from the back of the class just goes "WAIT THOMAS JEFFERSON WAS A PLAGIARIZE?!" with a face that said that his life was a lie
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"Look for me tomorrow and you'll find me a grave man."
whispers "Iconic."
Kid: You're a very sincere person.
Actual cinnamon roll who tries to be badass: Are you sure? Maybe you don't know me as well as you think.
Kid: Honey, that was my way of nicely saying that you're a shitty liar.
Context: we're playing a symphony, and one of the movements is called Nimrod after the biblical hunter
Bassoon player: messes up a solo tremendously
Director: stops the orchestra You lost the tiger! This movement is about chasing a tiger; you can't lose it!
Trombone player: Well we lost the tiger, but we found the Nimrod.
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"My mom was like 'yeah she's nice and all but she's a virgo so we can't be friends' and I was like 'bitch I'm a virgo?"
-Kid in my math class
"Are they related?"
"No."
"Then I ship them."
-Two kids at drama while we watched Newsies.
"Thomas Jefferson was NOT human. He was an alien."
“What is the sexiest picture of Dr. Phil?”
“I had a cupcake and a brownie, then I didn’t eat anything else.”
“Haha, BLESSED.”
“The clouds look like anime titties!”
1: “Why do you like Dr. Phil so much?”
2: “Do you not like Doctor Phil?”
1: “No…”
3: “What’s wrong with Dr. Phil?”
Someone: yo you know that Sarah just slapped the shit out of (name) and got suspended
Me: Ohhhhh
Like a month later
Sarah: I was suspended and went to prison for drug something can’t rember I was high
Me: Sarah what the fuck we are in 8th grade
Sarah: so
science teacher: the 9th graders already think they own the school
10th grader: threateningly hold up acid-ish stuff well, we'll have to fix that won't we?
Baritone blats a note
Teacher: "That's sharp."
"Don't be blaty like the tubas!"
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Not a quote but two kids had a Fortnite dance battle in the school's front courtyard during lunch.
Yesterday during lunch the sixth graders paraded around the playground with their instruments ('cause a lot of them are in band) and played Baby Shark for like ten straight minutes
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yEEEEESSSSSSS
BAND IS #1
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aHHHHHHH
"STOP STEALING MY BANANA, STEVEN!"
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"My neighbors scream so much that someone could literally be getting murdered, and I wouldn't bat an eye"
that's so gay hahahahahahaha ew
In the hallway a girl yelled
"I USED TO BE A SOCIALIST, NOW HE MADE ME A COMMUNIST!"
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"What is it called when the tempurature gradually evens out?"
"………communism?"
- During my science class review.