Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!

"i'm not going to snort it!"
a kid in my history class

“She’s benching grademarks”

"bitch i like girls"
-me today (should i tell the story?)

sure!

sure!

So these boys over at the other table were being annoying, and when one of them said, "_____, my love," in a sarcastic way, I just kind of snapped and said the above quote, haha.
Then I walked away like a damn queen
and i may or may not have strategically timed it right as the bell rang whoops

XDXDXD that's great!

Quiz Bowl Modorator: Who invented the sewing machine?
Guy next to me:(buzzes)Uh…uh…uh…Betty Crocker!

For the record, I knew then that the answer was Elias Howe

Me (trying to get friends' attention): I played Spin the Bottle…
Friend: WTH
Me: Like, you spin a bottle and kiss..
Friend: comes over HEY KAYLA (other friend) COME HEAR ABOUT **'S FIRST KISS!
Me: It was the youth group version…
Friend: O.

P1: “What’s our safe word?”
P2: “Waffles.”

P1: “That was a girthy exam.”

P1: “How many characters can I kill off before some eggs my house?”

P1: “What if there was a brother brothel called the Brothel Brothers’ Brother Brothel?”
P2: “You can stop now.”

P1: “In medieval times, can I be the plague?”
P2: “No.”
P1: “Then can I be not a woman?”
P2: “Of course.”

Me: I didn't even get to be in the frickin Soviet Union!

"Every time i t-pose i expect to be punched in the gut."
"SHUTTUP MARK YOU TRIPPED SIX TIMES!"
"L A M P"

Me- Did you know that if you pour out nerds in a circle and place a pink candle in the middle you summon a nerd.
My friend- What type of nerd? The candy or me?
Me- Thinking for a second A terrifying mix of both.

Some Junior in highschool:
"He looks like a pregnant raisin."

"I'm losing my marbles! . . . literally." rolls marble on table
loudly whispering "sorry for disrupting you guys!"
"if anyone asks if I'm ok say no, I'm slowly going insane"
"I have a test, but I'm good at science so I'll be ok."
"wanna see a magic trick?" puts pizza pop in trench coat pocket, then takes it out of the other one
"do you like my hat? thanks, I made it!"
sees principal scolding kids in the fenced off smokers pit "please do not feed the wild high school students"
"Lucas my child!"
"which principal was he?" "uhh, he's… Thor! that principal." (yea, we actually have a principal named 'Thor')

Girl 1: Dress your lines and march! (we were "soldiers" in the civil war)
Girl 2: But I'm dead…
Girl 1: You can still march!

Marching band in a nutshell xD

Entire class during lunch- Headbanging in unison to uptown funk
My Friend- Walks in and looks around No. Walks out

Me: I saw ***** Stoltsfish at (place)!
Friend: You mean (insert proper spelling here)
Me (making Psych reference): I've heard it both ways. :)
Friend: Well, hers is (proper spelling)
Me; HOW DARE YOU DOWNGRADE MY REFERENCE!

i owe my friend jack five dollars cause he wrote yeet on his forehead and kept it on for five periods

XD sounds something i would do