Things You Want LESS Of In Books

Bad self-inserts of the author, who is completely self-unaware and thinks they're perfect (lookin' at you onion boy)

SKSKSKSKSK I REVIEWED TWO OF HIS THREE BOOKS ON GOODREADS AND I DRAGGED THEM!!!

My Fantastic Beasts fanfic from seventh grade is better than Onion Dick's """""books"""""
Wait, my fanfic had some good moments.
My Mary-Sue-Dimension-Crossing-Star Wars/PJO/Harry Potter fanfic from 6th grade was better than Gurgles' books. There, that's better.

Trust me, you don't wanna know. Just look up "Onision Drama" on YouTube and you'll get a TON of videos on him…personally I recommend the channel Drama And Opinions for the details, and StrangeAEons and Krimson Rogue of scathing reviews of his shitty shitty """"books""""

They're affronts to the world of literature, so yes. ""Books""".

Not to self-promote but here's links to my reviews of his """books""" lmao: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2950302145?book_show_action=false&from_review_page=1 https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2950278630?book_show_action=false&from_review_page=1

Yee
Just click on my username and you'll see my page lmao

I actually just updated the second one a few minutes ago since I went to a suicide prevention lecture and have more bones to pick: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2950302145

The scathing tone was even more enjoyable than the perspective of Hazel Grace.

<3
I do love to entertain

The scathing tone was even more enjoyable than the perspective of Hazel Grace.

Not only did I thoroughly enjoy jynnie's reviews (hot damn chicka there are some envious dark side vibes there) but this statement is just icing on the cake.

Le gasp!
Thank you!!!

Wow. Read your reviews. Gotta say, like TheAlthalosian, I found that very entertaining lol

Thank you!!

Ugggggggh only one GIF worked but the others were all various Obi-Wan ones.

I'm sick of soulmates in books, it's unrealistic and cheesy as hell.

Like this whole "he saw her for .5 seconds and knew instantly that she was his soulmate, his one and only" is so weird, like. You don't even know her. I'd rather have slow burn or friends-to-lovers is what I'm saying.

On that note, I'm sick of love stories where the novel's plot happens within the course of a few weeks

I remember this one series I read when I was younger where the heroine literally meets someone, falls in love with him, and is willing to die for him (your usual YA romance novel fare). And I used to think it was slow-burn because it happened over the course of three long-ass books

but I reread it a while ago and it turns out that these three books only cover the events of 2 weeks

this girl got into a "I would die for you" kind of relationship over the course of two weeks and that's scary

It's because people don't realize that Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy, not a romance. They think that the whole "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but you're super hot, and I'd die for you baby" thing is romantic but it was never meant to be. Romeo and Juliet is about two teenagers who meet and think they're in love, then kill themselves because their parents value a blood feud over the wellbeing of the younger generation, thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

iTs MoCkInG tHeM iTs ThE wHoLe PoInT

IT WAS A FUCKING SATIRE YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SEE THEM AS "OTP TWU LUV!!!"

You know what's a more compelling relationship? Macbeth and Lady Macbeth. Hamlet and Horatio. Hamlet and Ophelia. Oberon and Titania. Benvolio and Mercutio. Beatrice and Benedick. Hero and Claudio. Victor and Clerval.
Romeo and Juliet isn't supposed to be like that.

Victor and Clerval. I SNORTED