RP? One on One

Jair's grip on her arm tightened, but he didn't say anything. Damn it, Kana. Just listen to me.

They reached the kitchen, and a wave of regret washed over her. No, I don't need this. I don't. I'm fine. Everything is ok. Going a few more days won't hurt, right?

Jair sat her down, and started grabbing food. "If you leave, i will hunt you down." He said calmly as he made food.

She sighed. "You know I've gotten good at hiding from my guard, right?" Kana didn't plan on leaving. Spending time with Jair was nice, despite the circumstances.

"I know. But I also know where you hide." He replied calmly, and handed her a plate of food.

"Who's to say I don't have new hiding spots?" She grinned at him. Kana didn't really have new hiding spots at all. She had always hid in certain areas, and that probably wouldn't change anytime soon. She raised her eyebrows at the whole plate of food. All of this? He can't be serious! She picked up a small piece of food and nibbled on it, surprised at how delicious it tasted. Then again, anything with flavor would taste delicious to a starving person.

Jair sat down, watching her. "You don't." He replied calmly. "Now eat that. All of it." He told her, raking a hand through his hair.

Kana sighed. He knows me too well. She finished the one thing she was nibbling on, already starting feeling human again. That's it. I'm done. She bit her lip and looked up at him. "I finished it."

Jair shook his head. "Eat the rest." He replied. "Then you're done." I feel like a parent or something…

She crossed her arms and smiled. "Are you bossing the Queen around, Jair?" She asked jokingly. Kana discretely and slowly pushed the plate away from them.

"Yes." He pushed the plate back to her. "Now eat."

Her head dropped and she stared at her feet. "Jair, no. I've already had enough." It's true. That should keep me up and going for a bit more.

"You only ate one tiny little thing. Eat the rest of the damn plate, Kana." Jair replied, crossing his arms. Just eat. Please. I don't want to lose you because you starved yourself.

She pouted. "No. And you can't make me." She stood up, still lightheaded.

He grabbed her arm, looking down at her. "Yes, i can. It won't be pleasant, but I can, and i will, if you don't fucking eat."

He's right. She sat back down, slightly upset. She slowly ate the things on her plate before coming to a stop. "I'm actually really full, Jair." The plate was half finished. It was more than what she would normally eat, if she even did.

Jair crosed his arms. "Eat a bit more and you can be done." He replied.

She sighed and took a small bite. "There." Kana got up and started to leave.

Jair shook his head. "Why are you doing this, Kana?" He asked softly.

"Doing what? Leaving? I'm leaving because I'm full." She stated simply.

"No. Why in the hell are you so bent on starving yourself? Is your life that terrible that you want to die?" He asked, looking at her.

Kana looked down to the ground to avoid his gaze. "Erm, not exactly." Especially now that you're here. Life just got a bit better. I just…" she trailed off and looked back up at him. "A lot of reasons were piling upon each other, so I just stopped." She explained, feeling slightly uncomfortable. I really don't talk about this stuff… Then again, no one's noticed before.

"You just stopped." He repeated in a dead voice. He shook his head. "God, Kana." He didn't look at her. "And what were these "reasons"?" He asked, looking at her.

Is he mad? She inhaled sharply. He's probably mad. Jesus, Kana, look at what you did! "I, um…" She shook her head, trying to shake off her own negative thoughts that were attacking her. "It doesn't matter." She whispered quietly, looking back down at the floor.

Jair shook his head. "Yeah. Of course it doesn't." He said, standing. He didn't look at her. "I'm going to my room. And this time, try knocking instead of spying on me. If you don't want me to know what's wrong with you, then I see no reason why you should know what's going on with me."

Kana winced at his words. "Jair…" She tried to make eye contact with him.

He didn't look at her, and kept walking. "Don't." he said softly. "I-I'm sorry." he shook his head slightly. I can't do this…I thought…I…

She paused for a moment and sighed. "No… I'm sorry." I'm the worst. He's just looking out for me, and I'm over here being a jerk. "I'm just being stubborn… And you're just trying to help-" God, someone's actually helping me. She bit her lip, holding back tears. Don't cry now! What are you doing, Kana?!

Jair stopped, and sighed. I can't stay mad at her…no matter what I do, no matter how I feel, I can't be mad… He looked at her, and could see her eyes shining with tears. "Kana, please don't cry." he said softly. "I just…I don't understand why you're doing this. I really don't."

I can't… "I hate myself!" She suddenly blurted, almost screaming it. "I hate myself for letting you go!" Her tears slipped, what with her efforts to keep her emotions contained thrown out of the window. "I hate how I look! I hate how toxic and sickening I've become!" She began sinking to the floor. "I hate myself so much, that I hate the very thought of existing." She started sobbing loudly, but she felt so relieved. So relieved to finally tell someone. So relieved to not bottle up her emotions.