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Let's Talk The Birds & The Bees >>> (Mature Rating - For Authors Serious About Sensitive Scenes)

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person_off
Deleted user

Soooo…. while yes, I know the theory, yes, I have researched a lot (I WRITE FANFICTION FITE ME!!)

…. BDSM. Let us learn together. Also, as I have never sexed before, and as a female, I would like a little more insight on the guy's end of the stick (Logan: FOR THE LOVE OF ARCHIMEDES I WILL NEVER INTENTIONALLY MAKE A PUN!!) and also learn a little more on how it just generally works.

Also… STIs. I would like info. I know that they don't always come from sex, symptoms don't always show up, etc, but info pls. Idk I just wanna get better at writing smut.

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If it helps, there's a really informative post on Tumblr that's a chart with the different STDs that you can get from different types of sex and the chances with or without a condom.

person_off
Deleted user

If it helps, there's a really informative post on Tumblr that's a chart with the different STDs that you can get from different types of sex and the chances with or without a condom.

Also– Planned Parenthood has several pages of info on the subject which is very informative and gentle.
But Im just going to point out that sexually transmitted diseases/infections are generally only transmitted through acts that are considered sexual. And not really….smut worthy in any way so Im not sure why one would include that in their writing. STIs are pretty damn gross.

person_off
Deleted user

BDSM

Don't listen to anything 50 Shades tells you.

person_off
Deleted user

BDSM

Don't listen to anything 50 Shades tells you.

I know that, duh. Lol.

person_off
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I figured. But this is such a broad subject because there are so many different styles and types. It's not just 'rough' sex and its not even really about pain and such. It's all about control. Giving it up and taking it.

person_off
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I know that, and actually, if I ever were to get into the practice it would mostly be cuddling with a blindfold on. Yes, I have a low pain tolerance. But it's steamy. Whatever, I do understand your point though lol.

@Euric_Knight

How does lesbian sex work

@_sleeby_rat_

uhhh honestly I'm unsure you can do much other than like oral and stuff

person_off
Deleted user

Oooooooooh honey. Wow, soooo…..

First of all, trust not the dildos. Ya see them in porn, but when you do, assume straightness of them fine ladies as most lesbians don't use them very much if at all. I am slightly wrong though, some will and enjoy it, but you don't need a stick when you can lick (yes a friend gave me that line cuz I'm not witty enough to rhyme on my own). Vibrators are normally fine, a lot of oral sex and penetration of the cooch with the hand. Tribbing is non-penetrative sex where the two engaging rub the vulva and clitioris (basically, the cooch and clit) together with their partner's. Some other types and positions but those come to mind first.

@SaltyLasagna

I think sparky covered it lol. Basically its just strap ons (attatching a dildo to a strap around the waist and having penetrative sex), fingering, oral, scissoring, and using toys.

I have a question: how would one actually describe an orgasm? It's sort of an awkward question to ask, and a lot of the smut I've read just describes it in one sentence and I feel like there should be more to it than that.

person_off
Deleted user

https://m.webtoons.com/en/slice-of-life/boo-its-sex/list?title_no=1413

Read. This. It. Is. Gold.

person_off
Deleted user

I have a question: how would one actually describe an orgasm? It's sort of an awkward question to ask, and a lot of the smut I've read just describes it in one sentence and I feel like there should be more to it than that.

I mean….most smut books are correct that it feels like an 'explosion' but its not as soul shattering/life altering as authors put it. Its like a build up of really strong pleasure and a weird tingle in your thighs. honestly, theres a little part of your brain that wants it to stop and your body to relax but it feels too good. That tipping point over the edge just feels like super intense tingles and you get all warm. (kinda hard to describe. lolz) Depending on the orgasm itself, your body with shake or shiver, but that's not as common as authors put it.

You body feels like a happy limp noodle afterward.

@_sleeby_rat_

“Happy limp noodle” lmao

person_off
Deleted user

I mean….. it's a mood. XD

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So like….how do condoms work? Do you just yeet them over the dick? Does it impact the pleasure you get?

person_off
Deleted user

You slip them over the penis before vaginal (hey maybe anal too) and not that I know of. I know a lot of men complain that it does but they're just being coyl

@_sleeby_rat_

Yeah I mean unless a couple has latex allergies condoms are a little difficult but you can get latex free ones

person_off
Deleted user

Dont listen to a guy that says he's too big for a condom. They have alllllllll kinds of different sizes. They're just assholes.

It can impact the pleasure of both male and female. It can make it kinda…..numbing, which is lame, but there are different types with ribbing and stimulating lube that can add to the experience as well.

There are female condoms too but theyre a little funky.

When it comes to birth control in general there are so many options for the female, I swear to god they are allllll, I mean all, gifts from the deity.

-The pill shortens your period, helps with cramps, and helps with acne.
-The birth control implant is a tiny, thin rod about the size of a matchstick. It goes in your arm. It lasts for 5 years and can help cut down on period cramps. It also makes your period way lighter — and 1 in 3 people with the implant stop getting their periods at all after a year.
-IUDs are one of the best ways to prevent pregnancy, and they last for years. You can get it, forget it, and still be protected. They’re more than 99% effective. Plus you’re protected against pregnancy for 3 to 12 years, depending on what kind you get annnnnnnnnnnd they can cut down on cramps and make your period way lighter. Some people totally stop getting periods at all. Hormonal IUDs can help treat people who suffer from severe cramps, really heavy periods, and anemia.

lol ignore my rant about birth control. As you can see I'm a supporter.

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BDSM

Don't listen to anything 50 Shades tells you.

I know that, duh. Lol.

what is bdsm? cause I actually have no idea

person_off
Deleted user

Bondage/Dominance/Sadism/Masochism

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All at once, or just two or three?

person_off
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Bondage and Dominance are kind of hand-in-hand.

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Ah.

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Anyone interest in what 50 Shades Of Emotional Abuse Grey did wrong with BDSM should check out the reviews of the books by The Dom/Dominic Noble, and Roselin Productions!

person_off
Deleted user

In other words everything.

XD

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Dom's video goes into just how twisted the whole 'plain Jane virgin is pursued by smexy billionare' trope is and how it feeds off of insecurities, and Roselin Productions did a live reading/dissection of Darker and Freed, touching on things like how the relationship has textbook abusive qualities, and how fucked up the portrayal of the crazy ex is.

person_off
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Those books are just a toxic, close minded, and stereotypical view of something that's considered taboo in today's society.

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So besides not doing what 50 Shades of Manipulation and Abuse did, what other advice do people have on not misrepresenting BDSM?

person_off
Deleted user

If it's something you really want to write about and explore. I suggest doing A LOT of research. Not 'oh i spent an hour looking it up'. I mean like deep internet research, or actually talking to a Dom or a sub. They are normal people and generally would enjoy speaking to people for proper representation.