"While it may be true that only God can judge you, you're making it real easy for Him to decide you're a jackass."
Out of Context
language
"ALEXANDRA, PICK A PLACE TO DIE RIGHT NOW!"
"W-why?"
"Because I said so."
"While it may be true that only God can judge you, you're making it real easy for Him to decide you're a jackass."
I want this in a book.
pets
@ElderGodSeeba
petsbing bing 🐸
bing bing 🐸
"You know the phrase "bad things happen to good people"? Well, I've been thinking; that could also work on the other side of the scale. Good things happen to bad people. That's why they're bad. Because they don't know what it's like to suffer"
language
"God doesn't have the right to be god-tier. He's at least a C-tier at best."
“You don’t like jazz! Heresy! Anathema shalt ye be!”
group
"It might be illegal, depending on what country you live in."
"I'm… American."
"What state do you live in?"
"Uh… denial."
language
"Send that toaster back to the depths from which it came."
"puts the toaster in a bathtub full of water"
"WAIT NO DON'T BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-"
language
I’m the guy who bags groceries at the grocery store”
“And if someone says the first one, you’re fired go to the waiting room”
“It’s probably my OCD working overtime”
language
"My criminal record is longer than a football field, and it's still being expanded."
language
"The easiest way to die is just to wait for the guacamole to run out."
language
"They're making it very clear that they wanted him aborted-"
language
"Wow, that guy really just kicked that fucking baby."
person_off
Deleted user
"Wow, that guy really just kicked that fucking baby."
(The game "Who's your daddy?" in a nutshell.)
language
"Wow, that guy really just kicked that fucking baby."
(The game "Who's your daddy?" in a nutshell.)
(LMAO that does fit- i wish that were the context for the quote xd)
“Yasss! Chicken armpits!”
“Excuse me.”
“You will never be excused for your many heinous actions against all of mankind.”
“…”
“But yeah I’ll move.”
language
"Stop eating my computer! I know it's tasty, but I need it for my schoolwork!"
person_off
Deleted user
"Stop eating my computer! I know it's tasty, but I need it for my schoolwork!"
(Cough My dog Cough)
language
"Stop eating my computer! I know it's tasty, but I need it for my schoolwork!"
(Cough My dog Cough)
(lmao yeah that's what happened here- my dog was legit trying to chomp on my computer and it was weird :v)
"Stop eating my computer! I know it's tasty, but I need it for my schoolwork!"
(Cough My dog Cough)
(My dog ate my computer)
language
"We need to stop stealing shit and actually get some damn money."
"I think I'm gonna go be problematic on purpose."
"Today is gonna be a good day!"
tries putting a straw through a CapriSun, but accidentally pokes a hole right through the pouch, causing it to leak
"ugly-sobbing NOOOOOOOO"
group
"What are your thoughts on the current socioeconomic climate in America?"
"I think hamburgers and cheeseburgers go well with fries."
group
@evastardust
groupRRAAAARRL
RRAAAARRL
(sadkjgfhgjh)
group
@evastardust
groupRRAAAARRL
RRAAAARRL
"Everyone has the right to toes; their own or other people's."
"I hope I never see Sexy Pooh ever again."
Cursed