language
"I personally think that he'd just eat all of the contents inside the fridge, then eat the fridge itself. After that… he might still be hungry honestly."
Out of Context
language
"What are your opinions about government?"
"It has its pros and cons, overall, not a big fan of government."
"What's the best way to run a government?"
"Mild anarchy."
I… kind of agree with all of this.
group
"Tommy, please no war crimes today, we're on a streak of 3 right now, it's our high score."
group
"You're worried about doxxing your dead bearded dragon?"
"I respect people's privacy!"
group
"He's going as fast as he can, he sees a kid, and he just- clotheslines him."
"I crunch 'im up and put him in the tube so he can't expand and get out."
group
"And you guys are the terrified people screaming as the plane does a nosedive into the Atlantic Ocean."
"It's like a roller coaster, until you hit the ground!"
group
"Would you rather have unlimited bacon, but no games, or games, unlimited games, no games."
book
"It's not like your husband can die twice."
group
"Would you rather be instantly teleported into a room full of beautiful women, or instantly teleported into a closet chock-full of lizards?"
"There's a recurring theme here of women vs. lizards."
“Just painting this girl’s ass.”
group
"Disclaimer: I am not Jesus."
group
"You sound like Chewbacca's father while watching the not porn."
“Pray for poop.”
“It’s our sticky headless woman!”
language
"Pickles are just salty cucumbers."
"If that's the case, then what are cucumbers?"
"Unsalted pickles."
language
"We're all socially awkward in this socially awkward world."
"The cats serve the food. They're more like my servants."
"Being lonely is awesome. I love being lonely."
"You cried during solitary confinement."
"Remember: Some problems can't be solved by retreating into drugs and alcohol. Some problems require you to forge ahead into drugs and alcohol."
"Don't neglect the spiritual side of your life. Find the best person you know, nail him to a cross, and worship him."
group
"When we said we wanted the Kirby anime back, we didn't mean to do a crossover with Attack on Titan."
group
"So the question is live in New Jersey or die. In which case, I would still be stung by 100 bees."
language
"To be gay or to be straight. That is the question."
language
"I need a hand. No, I don't need any help. I just need a hand. Can I have yours?"
"Bad mood? Just make a slightly-offensive-joke-but-the-offensive-part-is-unclear-and-kinda-confusing-so-nobody-actually-will-get-offended. It'll instantly brighten your day."
"I dare you to say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious with a knife to your throat. It's not as easy as you think, bub."
"Leave me alone! Let me pursue my cannibalistic ideations in peace!"
group
"But- if national skiing person, why Switzerland?"
"If you're an artist in this day and age and you haven't made at least one Sonic OC, you're doing something wrong."
group
"Bad Minecraft players get put in the Sky Donut to reevaluate their life choices."
“Are you talking about nuclear power again?”
“Yes.”