Out of Context

about sexual attraction, or rather, the lack of "Eh, it's one less thing to distract me. I prefer to spend hours being distracted by thinking about the softness of blankets instead of…that."

“Red dye number 40 is really good for children because it’s been linked to hyperactivity. And what are kids not doing if they’re hyper active? Drugs.”

"It's my massive fucking cock…atiel."

“You forgot your black man.”

“Whoa that person’s white!”

"'Live mummification looks amazing in green and black' WHAT THE FUCK DUDE?!"

"Okay yeah I'm a little intrigued but I'm also a little concerned about where you're going with the Russian government thing."

"Sometimes you just gotta call yourself an oaf to get the point across"

"I might be a total idiot sometimes."
"But?"
"But what?"

"If you or someone you know has ever asked another person to "hangout", I hereby diagnose you with Gay"

This has a "if Emma wasn't a baby" kind of feel

"Big titty Satan makes all kinds of juices flow."

In the morning when I can think straight, I'm pulling all my favorites for everyone else to enjoy

You better.

"She fucks an alien and dies of a space std"

But daaaad, what if the alien is really hoooooooooot?

What if the girl is really hoooooot? She can't help her obsession with looks, the opposite sex, and beer

"STDs? You can leave those at home."

What if the girl is really hoooooot? She can't help her obsession with looks, the opposite sex, and beer

I love you.

But daaaad, what if the alien is really hoooooooooot?

Then my dear youngling, you become the master of not being Zeus and keep it in your goshdarn pants.

Zeus is the master of his domain, if you catch my Seinfeld reference drift

y u c k