"I dunno why I'm doing this…so YEAh wwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeooooooo weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeoooooo binga

Binga

BINGA

hayeahhhhh
blageageagegeaow
does anybody here like bacon?
CUZ I HAVE A FRIEND WHO'S

CA-RAYZAY

about bacon

YOU'RE A WAFFLE HARLEY!

YOU'RE A WAFFLE HARLEY!

If you didn't eat the last powdered doughnut, Then what is all that white stuff on your face?

cocaine.

Very few have peed in Pompeii, my cousin is one of the few

Not many have climbed the cracked walls of Pompeii, but my brother has

Nobody that I know have shoved their cousins into the bread ovens in Pompeii, But I have

Thank you for supporting the Girl Scout cookies!

DID I FUCKING STUTTER?

(Sorry for the all caps.)

Shan't!

If you didn't eat the last powdered doughnut, Then what is all that white stuff on your face?

cocaine.

(Perfect excuse right there)

"mrs e, i almost got a girlfriend at mcdonald's before the game. are you proud of me"

"hey logan- oh you're not logan"
(bc me and this kid logan look really similar ever since i cut my hair haha so funny wow)

"i'm gonna hang myself like the flamingo"

"snort pop rocks to see god"

(sees caleb with a pack of pop rocks)
"about to see snurple, huh?"

Asked English Teacher for help to get a girlfriend

Let Logos Pathos and Ethos the crap out of this

(It worked, Got a date to Bohemian Rhapsody)
.oO0Oo.

tchotchke

WITH THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE

Well, I'll just die I guess.

Don't trust attractive men with names starting with an 'R' -^-

"Donkeys shouldn't look like fucking man-sized, man-eating rabbits!"
/
/
/
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Shrek the musical

I'm white "GOD, I hate white people!"
I'm American "God, America fucking SUCKS!"
I'm single AND depressed (TM) "Wow, look at that hoe over there, being all happy and shit.*
literally has a countryish accent and says y'all unironically "EW YEE-HAW MUSIC TURN IT OFF"

LITERALLY LIVES IN INDIANA "time to go shuck some corn and take some names"

"It's called a short-complex, idiot."

Don't trust attractive men with names starting with an 'R' -^-

(Ok, I'm asking for context now.)

Don't trust attractive men with names starting with an 'R' -^-

(Ok, I'm asking for context now.)

hgfghjklkkl I know what this means and trust me you don't need it

repeated chanting of "TEETH"

THE GODS DEMAND A BALANCED BREAKFAST

Don't trust attractive men with names starting with an 'R' -^-

(Ok, I'm asking for context now.)

hgfghjklkkl I know what this means and trust me you don't need it

(I'll trust you)

I inhaled a foot-long subway

THE STANCE

"i swear to micah"

okay so I was washing my hair this morning and I got conditioner and rubbed it into my hair. BUT it was like bubbly and I thought I hadn't washed out all the shampoo. SO I rinsed it and got more conditioner. BUT IT WAS BUBBLY AGAIN. THEN I realized that the conditioner was actually shampoo. _{i was so sad}

"Are you okay? You seem to have lost the plot."
Me on the floor, dying, laughing wildly as tears stream down my face: "I aM cOnFuSeD pErSoN!!!"

"So which is the guy you like at work?"
"Harry."
"Is he the one who gave you the hickey?"
"No that's Hayden."
"Okay and who is James?"
"He's another guy at work."
"Jesus Christ you get around…"

"I'm confused, who are you today?"
"Good question, I haven't figured that bit out myself yet."
"Ah… Hello Danny."

"Gotta have my daily tall water ya know!"
"You hate water."
Me, crying with a wide grin as I sip my water: "I know…"

"How did you get lost in a forest?"
"I was with two gays who were talking about cars, I wasn't looking where I was going as I made notes."

"You go to my college as well???"
"Yeah, I haven't seen you around though."
"Oh, you will."

(… These are the best on this forum.)