“Can I have a word bank for the essays?”
———
Going over our homework in math
“I got x=7.”
“I got x=I wanna die.”
———
“Sorry I wore the hat. It shields me from your face.”
———
“I AM MULCH JESUS! SPREADING MULCH TO ALL THE WORLD!”
———
“You need some toast for your heartburn.”
———
friend 1 puts a crushed water bottle in front of friend 2
“I DON’T WANT YOUR FRICKING RAW CHICKEN BOTTLE!”
“there once was an old motherfucker…”
Glass milk.
Father wants to watch :)
"well one upon a time president whats his face said no more this and he got shot" ~ freshman during history class
"My dad has insurance on us kids!"
"so if you get rear-ended and die he gets a new kid?" ~weird convo i heard during lunch
"YALL GOT ANY TOAST"
"WHO GOTS A DOLLAR??IM BROKE AND I WANT CHIPS " these quotes were contributed by the small child that's always hungry
Hey thats kinda gay ~my hella gay friend at the school @ a straight couple
"Yeah? Well you can suck my ovaries!"
"That was a very scientific insult, pal."
Highschooler - "What instrument do you play?"
Me - Holding a trumpet and trumpet sheet music "I play the cello."
Highschooler - "Cool." Walks away
Me - internally screaming
“Am I sexy?”
“You look like an egg.”
puts mouthgaurd on
“Thissh ish my final form.”
“You look like the love child of a monkey and an egg.”
"YOU EAT LEMONS"
group
My friend: "Stop, please!"
Me: "No!"
My friend: "But your cholesterol!"
Me: "It's fine, I've been eating like this for years and my levels are perfectly healthy!" precedes to put nine grams of butter on my single slice of bread
My friend: incoherent noises of disgust
English teacher: Who kicked [name of classmate]?
Boy in my class: I did
Teacher: Why?
Boy: I looked into his eyes and saw death
———
Also this girl on my class was saying what all of the letter grades stand for (A, B, C, D, and F), except they were all swear words
Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so all hail canada
Teachers and friends hugging because we're graduating, but we were supposed to be in the auditorium to watch a movie, as the teacher begins to cry…
Me - Looks over my stack of pringle to-go cans Do you think they'll let me eat my pringles in the auditorium?
Friend - WHY! Annoyed
Teacher - No that was perfect that was such a you thing to say.
Me - Thank you Gets up and leaves the room carrying the rest of the pringle cans in my shirt.
"Are you Shreck?"
*Shrek
(No, they pronounced the c and k seperatly. They said: Shhhh-ree-ceee-k)
"I may be an idiot but I'm not stupid!"
“Do you like your Cheetos with or without the bones?”
“When there’s a thick zombie: DEAD ASS”
group
Lady: Oh, are you a doctor?
Me, awkwardly holding a rubber heart: No…college droupout, actually…..
She then cackled for a solid minute while I stood there awkwardly in the cold with a confused smile bc I couldn't tell if she thought I was a college dropout (I'm in highschool) or if she just understood my reference
its super windy and my friend’s hair is sticking up
“Don’t make me waste my first swear word on you!”
"Wanting death is for pussies, you know what I want? A drug-induced comma."
(I said this while high on sugar, so yeah-)
(I said this while high on sugar, so yeah-)
I just imagine you saying this with Fun-Dip powder on the sides of your nose, your tongue a mishmash of colors, and with really small pupils.
