Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!

“Fortnite is best game”
My brother: SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I SICK WALUIGI ON YOU FOR THE LAST TIME THE WALUIGI FAN GAMES ARE THE BEST GAME YOU ASSHOLES!

tries to catch Frisbee
faceplants in mud
"aaaRRRGGH"

After a loud gasp, " DID YOU MURDER STEVE JOBS??"

After a loud gasp, " DID YOU MURDER STEVE JOBS??"

WHERE DID YOU GET THAT MONEY

…
YOU DONT NEED TO KNOW

…
YOU DONT NEED TO KNOW

all the evidence is here :)

XD

…
YOU DONT NEED TO KNOW

all the evidence is here :)

SHHHHH

…
YOU DONT NEED TO KNOW

all the evidence is here :)

SHHHHH

ahhahaaaa 😉

…
YOU DONT NEED TO KNOW

all the evidence is here :)

SHHHHH

ahhahaaaa 😉

shh shh ssh sshh shhhh

XDXDXD

…
YOU DONT NEED TO KNOW

all the evidence is here :)

SHHHHH

ahhahaaaa 😉

shh shh ssh sshh shhhh

😏😏

Meanwhile on my bus:
Middle schooler 1: “EVERYTHING IS BREAKING!!!”
Middle schooler 2: “SHUT THINE BUTTHOLE!!!”

“What the fuck is wrong with people, oh look an ugly slut!”
Jesse: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU HOE YOUR UGLYER THEN HAGERSTOWN!!!!!!

"So the Japakoreans started firing ballistas at the Chinasians…"
~A kid trying to "explain" the Taiping revolution of China during a Socratic Seminar

A: "Don't forget to put the baby in the microwave!"
B: "When did I get a baby?"
A: "You bought it off of Amazon"
Me: "No, you gotta get babies from Etsy for the HIGH-quality babies."
~Me and my friends during a financial literacy class

Me: "Disgrace to you and your famiry!"
My brother: "You said that in a valley girl accent, but Asian….and I don't know how to feel about that"

My brother: [insert cliche "Yo mom" joke]
Me: I'm your sister! You just insulted your own mother!

“What the fuck is wrong with people, oh look an ugly slut!”
Jesse: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU HOE YOUR UGLYER THEN HAGERSTOWN!!!!!!

I am offended.

@"(In-Honor-of-CW)-Alot-Is-Not-a-Word.-You-Don’t-Write-Alittle,-Abunch,-Acantaloupe,-Aporkchop-so-Don’t-Write-Alot."

And so is emi.

My friends' brother: puts wooden Baby Jesus in bread at Christmas
Friends' grandma: WHO PUT THE BABY JESUS IN THE BREAD!?!?!?!

(its still an inside joke)

“What the fuck is wrong with people, oh look an ugly slut!”
Jesse: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU HOE YOUR UGLYER THEN HAGERSTOWN!!!!!!

I am offended.

@"(In-Honor-of-CW)-Alot-Is-Not-a-Word.-You-Don’t-Write-Alittle,-Abunch,-Acantaloupe,-Aporkchop-so-Don’t-Write-Alot."

And so is emi.

Huh?

Oh no I hate Hagerstown.

"You're some tasty cookie dough"
"That sounded really sexual."
"What if I'm just saying she's sweet?!"

not technically a student but wHO CARES

my language arts teacher: "I'm death, I'm coming for you"

"We just broke the Internet"
"I wouldn't say we broke the Internet, but we did break a couple of Google Docs"
"True"

"If anyone could think of a point to this class I'd be impressed"
"To ** around"
"But is that a point?"

My friends and I were arguing about the plural of moose last year (IT'S MOOSE FOR GOD'S SAKE) and we asked our gym teacher and he started scrolling on his phone then said, very seriously, "mooie"
like pronounced moo-eye

"I look like a potato"
"A hot potato!"
"What about a sweet potato?"
"I yam what I yam…"

"Murder is never the answer. It is the question and the answer is yes."
~my friend to me one day

Me: "Let's go to 'Alicia Keys on a bale of hay', aka Burger King."

(we were decided what to eat for lunch)

Me: What do you call a dog without a muzzle?
Destiny: please stop.
Me: A Doless!
Destiny: I SWEAR TO GOD KYLEE IF YOU DONT STOP WITH THE BAD JOKES IM GOING TO BASH YOUR HEAD INTO A TABLE!