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Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!

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"After we're done eating, you can kill all of them!" -(Not technically in school yet…)My sister Mia

@houdini

"The best way to not get pregnant is to not get pregnant! Abstinence people, abstinence! These young'uns are ruining their own lives by getting pregnant through getting pregnant!" - paraphrased from a dude for his class final that was being recorded. rumor has it he did it the day before…

@Relsey-TheElder

Chem. teacher- Looks at the answer on the power point Wonder how I got that answer…. moving on."

Chem. teacher- Looks at the answer on the power point Wonder how I got that answer…. moving on."

Freaking me as a math teacher

@gracehustle

"If whoever is squeaking that rubber duck doesn't stop I'm going to murder them."

@ravens

"If whoever is squeaking that rubber duck doesn't stop I'm going to murder them."

mood

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@evastardust groupRRAAAARRL
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"STOP GRABBING MY WOOD!"
The guy playing the Wolf in my play, literally holding a 2 by 4

@ravens

"STOP GRABBING MY WOOD!"
The guy playing the Wolf in my play, literally holding a 2 by 4

why am i still laughing at this

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@evastardust groupRRAAAARRL
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Cinderella #2: Spinning on the ground on her back
The Wolf: Can we agree that she's not a virgin?
Cinderella #1:……I don't see how those are connected but you're right……

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@evastardust groupRRAAAARRL
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Cinderella #2: There is no God, there is only avacado toast.
The Wolf: That's the most Californian thing I've ever heard in my life…..

Lmfao, these are awesome jyn

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Deleted user

Gomez, talikgn about the double casted Morticia's: I've got two wives, I'm one of those mormons, you know.

person_off
Deleted user

Kid A: "Hey [person B], Wait up!"
Kid B: proceeds to run faster You'll never catch me, Baron! laughs like a maniac

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@Pickles group

"I cry at every emotion I have. So I try not to have them"

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Deleted user

"I hate emotions. They confuse me."
Me: "That's a fucking mood…wait…no it's not," overthinks this whole thing

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@evastardust groupRRAAAARRL
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Me and my friend: Sitting in silence doing homework
5 girls in the wings: The dirty bum, buM, bUM, BUM!
One of the wings has a metal gate seperating it from the costume room, and it's PERFECT for Cell Block Tango!

Ensemble Girl #1: Why are you sitting on your book?
Ensemble Girl #2: I'm keeping it warm.
Me: It's her baby and she hatched it.

The Wolf: The only good thing about you people's state is the cheese curds, that's the only reason why you're still in the Union!

@ravens

person 1: "toad"
person 2: dies laughing

@houdini

math teacher: alright guys, we have one final administration check left this year, meaning any earbuds in your ear that facing the door must be put away! we need a code word for when they come so we can hide our electronics!
class: [shouts various words]
student a: industrialization
everyone: …
teacher: …it's okay i already have one for the other classes, so we're going to say… 'fractionated bananas'! let's practice!
teacher: [hands keys to student b]
student b: [walks out the door, waits three minutes, starts to unlock door]
student c: SHIT it's the FBI!
everyone else: [unenthusiastically] fractionated bananas
student d: i don't see why this is necessary. they can't see through my chromebook.
teacher: [probably regretting her choice in accepting a job at my school]

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@Pickles group

I love your teacher already

@houdini

I love your teacher already

she is very motherly, but at the same time, she's pretty much given up on us learning much of anything in her class. her idea of an april fools prank was going "pop quiz!" and upon little to no response other than student 'd' going "nah thanks, i'm not gonna do that anyways," she just kind of sighed and said, "happy april fools!"
she also thinks we should have no clue what alcohol is, even though we're all juniors and seniors in high school… it's okay though because she's one of the few teachers who isn't a total jerk.

At rehearsal earlier (for Peter Pan) my friend called the lost boys the missing dudes

@ravens

beautiful

@actual-fandom-trash

Math Teach: "We have our unit test today."
Entire class: "What?? You said tomorrow!!!"
Math teach: smirks for like a few minutes
Us: "Ohhhh wait it's April 1st…"

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@evastardust groupRRAAAARRL
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My science teacher once gave my class a 'pop quiz' aka a quiz on different words with 'pop' in or connected to them…..
It wasn't even on April Fool's Day….

@CharBar

At rehearsal earlier (for Peter Pan) my friend called the lost boys the missing dudes

Peter Pan And The Missing Dudes of No-Island

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@Pickles group

Math Teach: "We have our unit test today."
Entire class: "What?? You said tomorrow!!!"
Math teach: smirks for like a few minutes
Us: "Ohhhh wait it's April 1st…"

Wow…the only thing any of my teachers did was my English teacher tried to convince us our argumentative essays were due tomorrow (which is now today, I guess). Half the class believed her. We've barely picked our topics…

@ravens

At rehearsal earlier (for Peter Pan) my friend called the lost boys the missing dudes

Peter Pan And The Missing Dudes of No-Island

gold

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@InstaOnly

Kid: Drinking some Watermelon Juice "Why does watermelon juice taste better than watermelon?"
Me: "Because it's fake. They have all the flavoring stuff."
Kid: "Exactly. It's delicious."

At rehearsal earlier (for Peter Pan) my friend called the lost boys the missing dudes

Peter Pan And The Missing Dudes of No-Island

YES

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Trin: "My writing sucks."
Jacqueline: "We don't hate on our writing."
Trin: "You're right. This is some quality trash right here."