And the Skies Turned Gold (Reboot) // OxO // Closed

(Oh shoot, sorry.)
Tohru started to brush out lines over the blank page. He wasn't putting much thought into it at the moment, but he found himself making the lines form a soft male face.
It was more subconscious at first, but he was sketching Davin's likeness before he realized.

Tohru shrunk down in towards his drawing, feeling guilt well up in his chest. It had been there before, but now it was kind of spilling over. He restlessly shifted around, unhappy with the sketch, and feeling strangely fidgety.
He got up and paced into the kitchen, grabbed some water, and leaned up against the counter, trying to put in more work, but even after a few moments, he realized it wasn’t doing much but maybe making him feel closer to some sort of outburst, since Davin wasn’t there to see it.

“Yeah. I’m alright. Why wouldn’t I be?” Tohru replies, trying to sound as relaxed and nonchalant as possible.
Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?
He took a few sips of water, still trying to clear his head without doing anything drastic.

“Yeah, sorry to worry you or anything. I’ve just got a bit of like… a mental block,” Tohru sighed, “It’s not unusual.”

“No, that’s okay,” Tohru responded.
He shuddered a bit at some of the thoughts that were going through his head. This was all his fault. He had already put Davin through so much shit, and they’d just met.

Tohru closed his sketchbook and left it on the kitchen counter, then headed for the bathroom to shower. He turned the water up so it was scalding and stepped in.
He felt an odd tightness in his chest as the hot water started to flow across his skin, leaving red marks where it touched. Tohru worked shampoo through his hair, doing his best to ignore what he was feeling, and instead focus on the painful scalding and the process of cleaning himself.

Tohru was standing for a while, but he grew strangely tired and sat on the shower floor. The water started to run cold.
Deep breaths, deep breaths.
It was an odd feeling, though not unfamiliar. As he tried to draw each breath in, it was like it hit some sort of block. He tried to stretch to relieve the tension, but nothing seemed to work.
He leaned forwards to shut off the water, and was hit by an odd wave of dizziness and nausea.
Tohru stayed still for a few moments to ride out the unwelcome feeling. It ebbed a bit but didn’t quite go. He still got out of the shower and grabbed a towel, trying to push past whatever this was.

Tohru eventually got dressed and left the bathroom, in fear that he might worry Davin. Yet he still felt sick. He might throw up. But maybe not.
Tohru brushed through his hair meticulously, taking out any tangles, partially to distract himself again. It didn’t work.
I did this… I did all of this…
He licked his lips. His whole mouth was feeling dry.
Tohru looked back into the living room to see Davin was where he’d left him. Hopefully didn’t suspect anything. Except he definitely did. Tohru wasn’t sure whether he preferred Davin to stay silent or say something about it.

Tohru paused for a second. Should he lie again? Who did it help?
“I dunno, I’m not feeling well,” Tohru replied, “I mean, it happens sometimes. It’s not a big deal…”
Idiot. He’s got enough to worry about. You’re the asshole who got him here. You shouldn’t be on that list.

“N-no! That’s okay, really,” Tohru replied, “Besides, I don’t thing they’ll help anyway.”
He gave a half-hearted smile.
Now you’ve done it.
Another wave of nausea hit him, and he did his best to stave it off, leaning against the doorframe and closing his eyes, trying to take in a few deep breaths. But he still felt his chest was too tight to do so.
“I’ll just rest for a bit, and I should be fine.”
(Honestly same)

Tohru nodded.
“Thanks, but nothing at the moment,” he insisted.
He curled up in the same chair he’d sat in earlier, sort of with the intent to take a nap, but there was no way he could sleep like this. His thoughts were absolutely racing.

After a while, Tohru looked up. He wasn’t feeling any better, but he sought to turn the tables a bit.
“How’s your arm healing?” he asked, gesturing at the one he’d shot.

“Oh, well you probably should at some point. But if it’s not horribly painful, it’s probably not getting infected. Still very sorry about that, by the way,” Tohru sighed.

“But still…”
Tohru fell silent, his chest tightening again. He shook his head.
It didn’t have to happen again. He could’ve carried on with his life there. You should’ve at least actually captured him if you were going to uproot him anyway. Idiot. Coward. Pathetic excuse for a person.

After laying in his spot for quite a while, mulling over his thoughts, Tohru was hit by another wave of feeling sick, and he rushed back to the bathroom, quickly tying his hair back along the way in case he did throw up.
And he did, pitifully crouched over the toilet. He had made it just in time. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to make him feel even more disgusting. It wasn’t that same relief that came after throwing up when you had a stomach bug, because the root cause of it wasn’t gone in this case.
Tohru just felt gross. Terrible. Weak.
“Fuck this…” Tohru muttered to himself, slumping back against the wall and allowing his horrible thoughts to continue eating away at him.