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“Everyone deserves help, Morrigan,” Lucian responded, sitting back up straight. “Try not to use your arm much, and remember to check in often so I can make sure it won’t get infected.”
The Andromeda (Pirate RP//closed)
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Not me. I don’t deserve it. She nodded. “Don’t— please don’t tell the others that I cut myself.” She was trying to muster the sarcastic goth facade she usually used.
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“I never share my patients medical information, I’m not going to tell anyone. I prescribe you pain pills, but you’ll need to get further dosages from me when needed,” Lucian said. He normally would have prescribed bottles, but he didn’t quite trust her with that.
Morrigan nodded, the sanest part of her immensely grateful, the depressed side already planning to take taking the pills. She would never deserve anything that good. “Are they back yet?”
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Lucian took out high strength acetaminophen pills, putting two into his palm before handing them to her. A healthy dosage, something that wasn’t enough to be able to overdose on. “I believe they are back, the newer medics must be in the other room helping them.”
“Thank you.”, she said again, the healthiest part of her taking over for a moment. It wouldn’t last.
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“Of course, it’s my job to help,” Lucian responded and stood up, tossing the bloodied needle that he used to stitch her arm with into the trash.
Morrigan let him leave, leaning her head in her hands.
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Lucian wiped any blood off of his hands and onto a cloth, his brow furrowed in thought. “Do you want to talk about it?” He spoke up, his back still to Morrigan.
Yes. Please… “What would there be to say?” She did. She really did want to. But she didn’t want to bother him.
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“First off,” Lucian continued, walking back over and taking a seat in the chair, “Why? What makes you want to cut your own skin?”
“I do it to punish myself.” She glued her eyes to the floor, pulling her crow wings tighter around her.
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Lucian nodded slowly, his expression calm. He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees with his hand folded. “Why do you feel the need to punish yourself? You a strong, attractive woman, what do you consider to be wrong?” He asked, his foot tapping the ground.
Attractive. “I’m not strong.”, she whispered. “I’m weak, cowardly. I’m not a good person.” She repeated the words that had been systematically drilled into her head since she was five, avoiding the second question.
I have to go in about five minutes)
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(Alright.)
“It’s completely okay to be weak, you cannot be strong all the time. You just need to find a way to boost your self confidence, or at least deal with your train of thought in a healthy manner,” Lucian explained.
“I’ve always been like this. I don’t deserve better.” Tears sprang to her eyes but she wiped them away. “My dad would punish me when I didn’t. I don’t like being punished by others. Much better to punish yourself.”
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“You’re father would punish you?” Lucian frowned, his brow furrowed. He set a few tissues in her lap in case she needed them. “Alright, if you get the urge to do it again, come see me.”
“I do it every day. I don’t want ti bother you.”
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“Every day? Morrigan, I’m a Doctor. And I did take one or two psychology courses in college before I realized that I would want to be a doctor. I deal with this sort of thing quite often, and it is my job to do so. I insist that you allow me to help,” Lucian said in a calm tone. He leaned back in his chair, rolling his shoulders.
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(Hey. Where is everyone?)
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( Well, I have arrived! )
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Leah had fallen asleep in the infirmary bed, wearing a white shirt and dark trousers, and her hair back to it's normal color. Her chest rose and fell steadily as she exhaled softly.
Daso wandered out of the med bay after observing Leah sleep for a few moments. She looked so peaceful in her slumber. He envied her a bit. He headed back out onto the deck and gazed at the stars, his teeth clenching. His hands began to play with the bracelet hanging around his wrist.
He'd killed someone. The thought wouldn't leave him. The vision of the light leaving that girl's eyes as he shot her ran through his head over and over again. He closed his eyes, trying to imagine anything else, but the only feeling he had was guilt. Guilt that he'd killed, and guilt that he hadn't been able to help Leah. He'd done nothing right.
Joanna was in the galley organizing the provision. After she finished, she walked up onto deck.
Everything was quiet on deck, so it was easy to hear Joanna's footsteps as they approached. Daso saw her and hesitated. He wanted to talk to someone, but he didn't want to seem pathetic. He waited instead, keeping his eyes on the stars.
Joanna stopped next to him. After a pause, she tried to make conversation."The stars are nice."
"Not as nice as your eyes," he mumbled half-heartedly.