(Wait ppl think Salome did what now)
Out of Context
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"I'm a Pisces which clearly means that my parents banged in May."
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"The only straight thing about him is the hole straight through his chest."
(^^^^Did the sexy dance.)
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"IT DOESN'T CONFORM TO THE RULES OF ENGLISH!"
"Please, the rules of English are mostly just elaborate suggestions."
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"Now that I've walked in the lake, the soles my feet are tenderized and ready to cook, so fire up one of these grills and let me stand on it!"
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(Why would you say something so controversial and yet so brave?)
(Lol yes.)
(Canon Poppins gave the children her fingers to eat.)
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(Canon Poppins was sort of a bitch, not gonna lie)
(You're not wrong.)
"So if you happen to find a spare breast lying around, cut it open for free water balloons."
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(I'm not a fan of absurdism so I didn't like the books too much, I liked Robertson Ay though. Wholesome side character.)
(Tbh I don't remember who that was.)
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"This feels great, but it sort of hurts my spine. Ah, the things I do for The Aesthetic-"
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(He was the servant boy, but also implied to be the Fool/the Jester from a story Mary tells)
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"Mom said it's my turn with Oscar-"
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"The Great Wilde Debate-"
"The one about the radio host or the one about the cat?"
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Y'know, the context that I'm currently engaged in a debate/bet about how a cat I've met three times got his name makes this better. My bet is that he's named after Oscar Wilde. If I don't win I will be Disappointed.
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"Why can't I lick my friend's notebook?"
"Whoever planned this design needs to be fired."
"It was the carpenter bee."
"Well then, my good sir, you are fired."
"So, let me get this straight, there's 96 bowling alleys because- and I quote- 'bees like to party'?"
Whisper chanting "Skin, skin, skin, skin-"
To the tune of Let it Be “What are you doing in my swamp what are you doing in my swamp what are you doing in my swamp.”
*chanting*
"Ancient cheese with a deadly disease, ancient cheese with a deadly disease, ancient cheese-"
“He might look like a bird poop but he’s my newest friend.”
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"People were dying all the fuckin' time back then."
"Yeah, it was like, a major pastime. That and baseball."
"That and racism."
"You don’t have to be the best, you just have to sell cocaine!"
"If you’re gonna have seizures, bring your own like, donkey."
"On the count of five, we’re gonna start a fire and then record a podcast."
"We can just write a whole fanfiction about this story and never get to the cannibalism."
"Do you wanna see the hottest ankle I've ever seen?”