"I am a queen! The queenest of the queens!"
"Where's the timer now?"
"Still on the oven I think."
Out of Context
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"I want a bowl that doesn't break when you drop it."
"Plastic."
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“That was way more horizontal than I thought it would feel, I didn’t realise I would have to tilt my head so far.”
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“This is my first time whispering, okay?!”
“I give him a playful kick in the teeth.”
person_off
Deleted user
"Now I bet you're wondering, 'where did your ass go?'. Well, I'll show you-"
me after learning one of you is working at an insurance call center, getting turned on by your customer's voice and masturbating in the work bathroom, humping a table leg while making pasta and video chatting with a random dude who's jerking off, and/or trying to electrocute yourselves by taking a bath with christmas lights
group
"Now I bet you're wondering, 'where did your ass go?'. Well, I'll show you-"
me after learning one of you is working at an insurance call center, getting turned on by your customer's voice and masturbating in the work bathroom, humping a table leg while making pasta and video chatting with a random dude who's jerking off, and/or trying to electrocute yourselves by taking a bath with christmas lights
Miriam
If I do any of those, it'll be the festive bath one
person_off
Deleted user
"Now I bet you're wondering, 'where did your ass go?'. Well, I'll show you-"
me after learning one of you is working at an insurance call center, getting turned on by your customer's voice and masturbating in the work bathroom, humping a table leg while making pasta and video chatting with a random dude who's jerking off, and/or trying to electrocute yourselves by taking a bath with christmas lights
Miriam
If I do any of those, it'll be the festive bath one
I'll beat your ass
"If God came down from heaven and told me it's pronounced 'Jif' I'd be like Okay Jod and walk backwards into hell."
"Sit back, relax, and feel your ass grow"
group
"Now I bet you're wondering, 'where did your ass go?'. Well, I'll show you-"
me after learning one of you is working at an insurance call center, getting turned on by your customer's voice and masturbating in the work bathroom, humping a table leg while making pasta and video chatting with a random dude who's jerking off, and/or trying to electrocute yourselves by taking a bath with christmas lights
Miriam
If I do any of those, it'll be the festive bath one
I'll beat your ass
My very electrocuted ass
"let's make poopie great again"
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"I don't throw fits!"
"Oh, really-"
"I throw 'Big Girl Tantrums™'."
person_off
Deleted user
"You're a stupid lady."
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"I'm gonna take a nap."
"It's bedtime."
"Well, then, I'm gonna take a longer nap!"
person_off
Deleted user
"You have no clue just how gay I am for you."
-Miriam at some point, probably
WHEEZE FACTS
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@evastardust
groupRRAAAARRL
RRAAAARRL
"All we have is HENRY and his USELESS LEG!"
(Is this book stuff?)
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@evastardust
groupRRAAAARRL
RRAAAARRL
(Oregon Trail. My dad was supposed to put in Shelby but forgot to, so it autochose Henry)
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@evastardust
groupRRAAAARRL
RRAAAARRL
"Aw, it says Henry broke his leg-"
"Shoot him."
"That's what I was gonna say!"
(Loooooool!)
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@evastardust
groupRRAAAARRL
RRAAAARRL
"No wait, if you ford the river you'll probably die-"
"That's the goal."
"Is it even worth surviving at this point? It's just you and Mom now, all the kids died."
"We can make more."
"WHO'S HENRY? Is he my husband or something?"
"He's our third kid.
(T'is beauty.)
"It's called Attack of the Sith. It's Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith combined."
group
@evastardust
groupRRAAAARRL
RRAAAARRL
(Isn't "Attack of the Sith" that just the Old Republic?)
group
(I'll one up you on that: Attack of the Revenge of the Sith Clones)