Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!

(I don’t even go to that school)

My mom to my baby sister: I am not a pink elephant

(A friend and I to our Math teacher)
My friend (to the teacher): Would you like a tarantula in a hamster ball?
Teacher: No, are they in the room?
F: No, we just wanted to know if you wanted one. They aren't in existence yet.
T: Immediate relief that the freshmen hadn't screwed something up again

(A guy in my math class to the teacher)
Guy: What do you mEaN mY BiKiNi pictures won't help me get into college?! I worked hard on those– I've been doing my squats and everything and nO oNe EvEn CaReS!
Teacher: I'm sure they've been paying off, but no one is going to care about your 2,000 followers. Maybe a fraternity would be interested in your bikini photos.

-

(Some table at lunch)
Random People: Huddled around one of their friends, watching him shove carrots into a tangerine

-

(Me and a friend during gym)
Me: Sees a stack of trashcans taller than I am Do you think I can stand in that?

(Me and a Friend in the Hallway)
Me: Sees her wearing a christmas sweater with bulbs on it
yOu ArE a JiNgLiNg abomination

(Me and a Friend in Business Class)
Friend: I'm gonna send you Japanese back to Africa if you don't get the rest of the questions answered.

“MODGE PODGE IS NOT HAIR GEL!”-a very frantic Elle Belle (me)

speaking of worms on a string

"Hey do you wanna join the worm on a string cult I'm a part of?" -me

"I once melted a worm on a string. It was the saddest day of my life."

"I got kicked out of the Woem Society and now I'm bitter." -some JROTC kid

"The cult is trying to start a worm on a string club you want in." "Hell yeah baby." me and a friend

Literally just now: Have you set my ass as your home screen yet?

Whoops

i put tinfoil on my glasses and people are thinking i'm protecting myself from aliens
like…no. their beams can go through 20 feet of lead, the sheriff's secret police are embarrassed for you. doofus.

The Sherrif's secret police

The Sherrif's secret police

nightvale

The Sherrif's secret police

nightvale

wOaH Spooky Stuff man

WATCH your DAMN B!TCH @SS motherF^CKING LANGUAGE

WATCH your DAMN B!TCH @SS motherF^CKING LANGUAGE

That’s my mom to me

"The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit? Try the Daddy, the Dude and the Dopest Vibes."

“What are thick crayola pantyhose?”
“Why???????”
“That box is labeled thick crayola pantyhose.”

"The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit? Try the Daddy, the Dude and the Dopest Vibes."

I really want context

My mom yelling to my dad from the other room: “[dad’s name], YOUR MOM IS TRYING TO MAKE [my name] SMELL LIKE A FRENCH [w word]!”

“i jingle

violently”

“Be nice or your grounded from chicken nuggets.”
“YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD!”
“Yes she is, be nice or you’re grounded from chicken nuggets.”

At theater after our play
“Where’s Daniel? I can’t find his costume.”
“He left.”
“In his costume?”
“Yeah”
“GODDAMN IT”
“THATS NOT C-RATED LANGUAGE”