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“Wait, so do you like everyone’s feet or just your own?”
“No-“
“It’s ok, let her be.”
“Shut up, Hentai boy.”
Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!
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"Let's bring that back."
"With buffalo?"
"No, not buffalo. Maybe something like-"
"Birds!"
"Nazis!"
"…those were very different answers."
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"Thank you for giving me food without your knowledge nor consent."
“ARE YOU GAY?”
“I think she’s straight”
“I’m as straight as a circle”
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"It's basically just a reanimation! The Furby is dead and we're bringing it back to life. Well, I guess the Furby is in limbo. Is there a Furby heaven and Furby hell?"
"I don't know?"
"….maybe Satan is a Furby."
- Me and my friend discussing the Long Boi (aka Benvolio Horatio Montjoy Clerval; or BHMC for short)
"I've got hoes with different area codes!" -My sister
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"Listen bitch, my Tarot card edges are sharp, the box is heavy and I've got one hell of a throwing arm."
"Listen here mortal I'm gonna kick your ass with the power of propane" -Literally some kid I though couldn't speak English
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“LET ME HOLD YOUR HAND!”
“God! No! I’m not gay!”
“PLEASE! JUST GIVE ME YOUR HAND!”
(Why are all the guys in my school gay towards each other? It’s great, weird, and funny all at the same time.)
Person A: "Let's see who the strongest in the class is!"
Person B: "I am!"
Person A: "We're not talking about odor, Ian."
Classroom: Chorus of "oooooo"
Person A: I like your shirt.
Person B: I like it too.
awkward silence ensues.
one of my friends is pretending to be jk rowling
“Are you straight?”
“No”
“Well your gay now. Are you straight?
“No”
“Good you’re gay too now. Are you straight?”
“I’m a pineapple”
———
“I’m a deformed ferret”
“I wanna be a prostitute!”
"Are you straight?”
“I’m a pineapple”
"Well, now you're the fruitiest fruit to ever fruit."
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“Hitler was human, and that scares me.”
three minutes later, by the same person
“Ah yes I like reading mangoes.”
“Do you think if the basketball breaks my nose I’ll get out of school?”
“I wanna clap some iPad cheeks”
-Some person who now has scared me
"I AM THE NON-FAMOUS LIL PUMP BECAUSE I'M GARBAGE!"
-Me, who tried to look for NF stuff on an instagram account and came across Lil Pump instead
“Do you think if the basketball breaks my nose I’ll get out of school?”
Oof, my sister has done something similar to that. Except instead of that she asked, "If I swallow perfume, do you think I could get out of school?" Her friend said yes. So my sister, my lovely sister, swallowed perfume. (I mean, she did get out of schoool though).
"The Magical Milk Carton told me that I'm a gay guy." -Me, 2019
Choir teacher: “What if I took this choir to sing in Carnegie Hall?”
Me: “the boys don’t sing.”
A boy: “true”
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Me: I'm thankful for my friends on Notebook. Moxie, Emi, Eris, Dom, Reed, Red, Pickles-
My Friend: Pickle Eating ASMR???
Me: No! That's cannibalism, why would I eat her, she's my friend!
Me, to that same friend about an hour earlier: Our two shared braincells really are on the same wavelength.
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Cronch cronch
One of my castmates: Listen to this!
Me: Uh, okay?
Castmate: Presses play on a pickle eating ASMR
Me:…..
Other Castmate: nOPE
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(Omg I love you Jyn)
(Ily too <3)