Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!

"Okay, so I took this what Frozen character are you test because I wanted to, but I already knew I was Elsa of course everybody knows that I mean I know all the words to let it go so I HAVE to be Elsa right? So I do the test, knowing I'll get Elsa, and do you know who I get? I get HANS. Of all the people I could have gotten, I got Hans. I thought I was Elsa. Hans was the frickin antagonist how am I Hans? I would have been fine if I had gotten Anna, or Kristoff, or Sven or Olaf or even the Snow Monster! Wait the snow monster's name is marshmallow. I LOVE MARSHMALLOWS I WOULD HAVE BEEN COMPLETELY FINE GETTING MARSHMALLOW BUT NOOO I GOT HANS I DON'T EVEN LIKE HANS. I think the test was just wrong everyone knows I'm Elsa so the test has to be wrong, right?"

One of my friends ranting to me while I'm half listening and half being concerned about her sanity.

She sounds exactly like Hans.

"I can't phase through walls yet."
"Yet?"
"You heard me."

"So we've got the gas pedal, the brake pedal, the steering pedal…"

"My spirit animal is a mean gym teacher."

"I've got some real college kid, snapchat, starbucks vibes right now"

“Did our math teacher just say one plus one is one?”
“I think he did.”
“My life is a lie.”
“Are you a lie?”
“AM I I lie?!?”
“Are you!??”
“Woah”

Me and my friend about math class

holding a blood soaked tissue to the side of her head
“Oh yeah, I had an itch on my ear and scratched my scab off and it’s been bleeding for a while. You know, just girly stuff. How was your day?”

watches music video in religion
HOW THE DEVIL IS THIS SUPPOSED TO REALTE TO JEBUS?!

“Slap it!”
‘No!”
“Slap it!”
“I said no!”
“Just slap it!”
slaps
“WHATTHEBHOW CAN UOU SLAP AOBHARD THATBHURT”

"Seven is greater than two right?"
I'm in geometry and these are the types of questions being asked

"Mother of donkey chicken strips!"

"I fuck these bitches and I fucking all these hoes, I'm eating pussy like it's oreos, you already know."
"Stop singing that for one seccond!"

“We're all going to hell anyway.”

"what is lung butter??"

“Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior Amen!”
“Don’t use the Lords name in vain!”

"Well one of us is french and can't sing and the other is Italian and can sing. So you wanna help me sing a french song that sounds aesthetic?"

randomly during math class “How much does it cost to change your gender?”

“Omg! This textbook is such a soap opera!”

“what’s a good villain name for my duck?”

(German song our wonderful teacher, Frau Lu, invented to help us remember how to conjugate verbs to the rhythm of twinkle twinkle little star.)
Ich-e
dust
er sie es t! (The actual t sound)
wir-en
sie-en
sie-en
IHRT (eart)

“You all look like noodles”
“That’s offensive…to noodles”

“Let’s feed Robert to the zombies first!”
“Zombies have higher standards.”

Talking about hair length in social studies - me and a lot of my guy friends have pretty long hair
"Shoutout to Robert even though he's not in this class"

"I literally did one math problem and I already want to die"

Kicking someone's legs so they'd fall down. "On your knees before the queen."

"I literally did one math problem and I already want to die"

uGH SAME