( @Ash-has-an-arachnid-aversion Don’t worry, it was gone midnight for me when I typed that and I’m pretty sure I woke my family with all the cackling)

"No one, not even the postal service, can stop you."

"I'm not dumb, I'm 8."
"Suck it!"

"Jasmine's boobs are very perky. It's impressive."

And I oop-

"My mind is saying "DRAW" but my mind is also saying "WATCH JEFF BLIM BE INSANE ALL NIGHT, THERE'S A COMPILATION SOMEWHERE SO FIND IT" and I'm just very conflicted because I can't do both"

"I need to see your feet for a harmless reason but I can't google that without sounding creepy af"

"My mind is saying "DRAW" but my mind is also saying "WATCH JEFF BLIM BE INSANE ALL NIGHT, THERE'S A COMPILATION SOMEWHERE SO FIND IT" and I'm just very conflicted because I can't do both"

yes

I now have my phone so I can do both

"My mind is saying "DRAW" but my mind is also saying "WATCH JEFF BLIM BE INSANE ALL NIGHT, THERE'S A COMPILATION SOMEWHERE SO FIND IT" and I'm just very conflicted because I can't do both"

"Yeah. No more fuckin' raisins." will always be one of the heights of comedy for me

I'm still only like halfway through, but my brain was like "draw jasmine and put 'i want everything and more' behind her" so I'm listening to it

"Baptists. Like. To. Eat." -my pastor

"IT'S THE REPUBLICANS! THEY'RE THE PROBLEM!!"

“I am now 100% convinced that you would have a threesome with Vincent Van Gogh and his brother.”

(Who/what is starry?)

(Oh the painting! Makes sense)

(I think she means the musical.)

(I mean.. that works too I guess? I don’t know the musical all that well)

"if you a mobster, you CAN NOT eat lobster"

What the FUCK are da New Yorkas supposed to do then? Just fuggetaboutit?