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Quotes from the List of Completely Weird and Random Things We’ve Overheard… (About 15 quotes will be posted daily, and feel completely free to add your own!)

@IamNOTachickenok forum 1019 comments schedule
drive_eta
@thecasual_hooman drive_eta

"ive been here for hours UGH!! LET ME OUTTTT" my cousin

pets
@im-with-stoopid pets
  • "Me versus a million babies - who's gonna win in a fight?"
fastfood
@CharlieTheSlayer fastfood

"THAT WOULD BE FUNNY AS BA– HECK!" proceeds to call some kids' parents -mr.k

drive_eta
@thecasual_hooman drive_eta

Welcome to ELA when thare is a sub
"i bet i could mark you absent and no one would notice, you probably don't do anything anyway"
"your eating? didn't you JUST get out of lunch" "Well yeah but Barlee" "then what did you do with the other minutes?"
"how bad is it that no one that you cant get a loaner"
"so at what point so you have one you just don't bring it i was here that's why when's the last time you brought it?" "yesterday" "Did you pull it out when the last time you? did work on it that thing's probably still new"
"whats your teacher's name?" "Ms.Erwin" "Well my name in that case is Mr.Erwin"
"Man just go, BOI you didn't bleed on the desk did you?"

drive_eta
@thecasual_hooman drive_eta

" what's the question what is your opinion on tacos?
"are they a sandwich sandwich soup or salad yeah or taco sandwich super salad noodle sandwiches for sale what about hot dogs what about you doing at work"
"Okay"

pets
@im-with-stoopid pets
  • "Having a snowball fight with the cat. Turns out, he's really bad at the throwing part."
drive_eta
@thecasual_hooman drive_eta

"santa tell me if your-" "SHUT THE HELL UP!"

public
@the-void-galactic public

“She was well-mannered and reserved, despite the wet cat energy,”

pets
@im-with-stoopid pets
  • "There's nothing more romantic than cheating the government out of its money."
group
@FRANKtheTritoposaur group

"Whose blood was on my toes? The world may never know"

pets
@im-with-stoopid pets
  • "This must be what King Kong feels like. Defeated."

  • "Luis, don't annoy me. I have spikes on the bottoms of my shoes."

  • "Or maybe she just knows I'm perfect at everything I do."
    (Throws a golfball.)
    "Home run!"

pets
@im-with-stoopid pets
  • "I realized, why just my armpits? Where's the love for my knee-pits and elbow-pits?"
language
  • "I realized, why just my armpits? Where's the love for my knee-pits and elbow-pits?"

No.

group
@FRANKtheTritoposaur group

"I STILL DONT KNOW WHOSE BLOOD THAT WAS"

pets
@im-with-stoopid pets
  • "Wait, so there's a pizza pie, a fruit pie, and a math pie? Then what pie are they talking about when they say 'pie in the sky?' "
    "That's not the phrase. It's 'pie in this guy.' Like you eat it."
public
@the-void-galactic public

(Wonder what math pie tastes like)

group
@FRANKtheTritoposaur group

(It tastes like salt and dark classrooms)

public
@the-void-galactic public

(Mmmm)

pets
@im-with-stoopid pets
  • "Why are you handing me my own drill with a bow on it?"

  • "It's like this poor baby angered some witch who cursed her to be trapped in a cabbage body!"

group
@FRANKtheTritoposaur group

"Zesty happy fish thing"

public
@the-void-galactic public

“I’m not touching that thing, I’ll get ✨neurotypical cooties✨“

group
@FRANKtheTritoposaur group

"IM TOUCHIN ALL YOUR WEBISES"

"2 guys 2 cups"

"Who is kicking my ass"

person_off
Deleted user

She got thighs
(guess the context!)

pets
@im-with-stoopid pets
  • "The problem is that now I have to do what I said I was going to do, and I kinda really don't feel like it."
pets
@im-with-stoopid pets

She got thighs
(guess the context!)

Was this said to a pet? Because this is something I'd say to my cat.

drive_eta
@thecasual_hooman drive_eta

"BABY CHICKEN GET YOUR HAND OFF THE VENT!"

book
@IcarusFightsTheSun book

"BABY CHICKEN GET YOUR HAND OFF THE VENT!"

(your new sister is already up to shenanigans?)

drive_eta
@thecasual_hooman drive_eta

"BABY CHICKEN GET YOUR HAND OFF THE VENT!"

(your new sister is already up to shenanigans?)

sadly

person_off
Deleted user

She got thighs
(guess the context!)

Was this said to a pet? Because this is something I'd say to my cat.

It was in reference to the different types of chicken you can buy at a grocery store!
(Basically a lady had gotten chicken thighs, which were the wrong chicken item to be discounted)

pets
@im-with-stoopid pets
  • "This man's pantry must look like Willy Wonka's dumpster."