Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!

People who bite ice cream can't be trusted.
As a bean with very sensitive teeth, I can say that it physically hurts just to watch

((I've never been trustable lmao))

"I think i'm gonna be a trump supporter for Halloween."
"Nothing's scarier than a trump supporter."

"I crave chaos, I will pour my enimies blood over ice cream!"
"You took a red bull with meds again, didn't you?"
"…Maybe."

“‘Reduction is gaining’ is a redoxymoron.”

"They call me the rag man."

"I'm selling weed for fifteen bucks!" -my friend in the back of our orchestra room (he was actually being legit XD)

"INK SACS NOT SIX PACKS"

Pointing at a piece of a red balloon on the ground and screaming in harmony.

"I'm living in all my emo glory."
"Reed… It's 2019, it's all about the VSCO girls, sksksksksksksk."

"That bird just fucking slammed the bug onto those bricks. Like, you could play heavy metal music over that and it would fit right in"

"Spank me." -random kid on the bus to bus driver.

“Welcome to our cult!”

———————

P1: I can’t make a straight line!
P2: I’m not straight period
P3: Same

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“I’m now trash Santa Claus”

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singing “I’ll Make a Man Out of You” from Mulan but replacing random words with “moo”

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(I feel like there are more but that’s all I can remember right now)

I was turning in a paper in biology class,and some popular jackhole that I hated held his paper out at me. Like to turn it in for him. H didn't ask. Had he asked, I might have said yes bc I'm polite. But I just stared at him while turning in my paper, then headed back to my seat. he glared at me and was like "thanks, buddy." And I just gave him a sweet little smile, opened my book, and started reading.
~~~
Overhead in theater/drama:
A dude: I'm mostly straight. I mean, I have a boyfriend, but I'm mostly straight.
A girl he was talking to: …that's how it starts. You're gay, my dude. Not straight.
~~
Also in theater/drama, we were doing Phantom of the Opera that year:
"Don't you hate it when you get seduced by a theater ghost?"
~~
In Orchestra:
My orchestra teacher: "I don't like bananas. I like them about as much as I like Christmas." (He has said previously that he hates Christmas, bc of how stressful and busy it is)
Me: "so bananas are like Christmas? Once a year only?
Rest of the class: * starts laughing *

“What can I say, I am a vengeful gay.”

Hehehehehehe

Huehuehue

Was that a pigment of my imagination or did you just make a color pun?

My safe space has been violeted by puns.

I'll just indigo than

It’s cyantifically proven my mind can’t keep up with this conversation.

That's just peachy

None of mine are orangeinal.

I red that with a smile on my face

NO STOP NO STOP NO
STOP.

This thread blue me away.