“Look everyone in my Mother 3 game is named after a Zelda Character… Minus the one kid who I for got to put I at the end of Navi… So now he’s just Nav”
-Me
Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!
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“The fetus doesn’t think he’s ok”
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“EAT THE SHRIMP, STUPID”
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“I identify as a highlighter”
"In middle school you don't have cooties, you are the cooties"
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“The fetus doesn’t think he’s ok”
—
“EAT THE SHRIMP, STUPID”
—
“I identify as a highlighter”
ah yes, the new gender. highlighter.
“The fetus doesn’t think he’s ok”
—
“EAT THE SHRIMP, STUPID”
—
“I identify as a highlighter”ah yes, the new gender. highlighter.
Yes. Highlighter pride! I said that because my teacher said the phrase “if you’re a highlighter…” meaning if you like to highlight the Vocab words, but the working sounding like she was saying if you are a highlighter
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“The fetus doesn’t think he’s ok”
—
“EAT THE SHRIMP, STUPID”
—
“I identify as a highlighter”ah yes, the new gender. highlighter.
Yes. Highlighter pride! I said that because my teacher said the phrase “if you’re a highlighter…” meaning if you like to highlight the Vocab words, but the working sounding like she was saying if you are a highlighter
ugly wheezing sounds
YES
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“OR, I could sit here with my iced coffee and wait for my girlfriend like a proper gay.”
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"Lesson learned: 18+4 is not 20."
(We have a whole section of the whiteboard devoted to these things in my Algebra class)
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(anyone can write on it whenever they miss an obvious part of a problem)
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“Turns out, it‘s just a poorly disguised Nazi, just like everything else.”
“That lizard over there? Nazi. But don’t tell him that.”
"They call me the octopus because I have so many legs"
Me: I'm so lonely.
Me 2: Well, maybe if you talked to people you wouldn't be.
Me: Hey, I didn't ask your opinion on this!
Me 3: Yeah, you know she's too much of a coward to have social interactions!
Me: Is that supposed to help, bitch?
Me 3: Not particularly, no.
Me 4: Kids, stop teasing your sister.
Me 2: We're all the same person…
Me 5: DIE FUCKERS!!! * Proceeds to kill all other me's with a machine gun *
Me: ·.·
Me 5: -_-
Me: Thanks.
Me 5: Bye, bitch. * Kommits sudoku *
Me: Wot.
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(that's pretty much my Sides in my head at just about any point in time)
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“IF I THROW A BABY IT WILL BOUNCE??”
“Yes, but-"
“WHO WANTS TO THROW A BABY WITH ME?”
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omg my friend meant to say snot but she said 'nose drool' and i just can't she says i'll make fun of her for the rest of the day and she underestimates me. i will remind her of nose drool until the day she dies.
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"I HAVE LEARNED NOTHING THIS YEAR. I MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. EVERY MORNING, I WAKE UP, AND I BREATHE. I'M DONE."
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(ok so these just happened)
"Welcome to learning… With Lizzie!"
"What are we learning?"
"WE'RE LEARNING."
Me: "I am a broken woman."
Friend A: "You're a woman?"
Me: "I can't tell if you're implying that I'm a child, or that I'm a man."
Friend B: "Probably the latter."
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(I’m not a sure how to put this whole thing into a quote but I was describing soufflé but I couldn’t remember what it was called and I said something along the lines of “it’s supposed to rise and stay there but sometimes it doesn’t” and the teacher who wasn’t listening at first said “I think there’s a pill for that.” And it took me a minute to get the joke then four periods later I yelled “soufflé!” In the middle of class and so now I’m kind of dying inside)
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"In the confusion, I smacked a pig."
discussing the coronavirus.
"What if we're in Plague Inc?"
My jokebook: How do you keep a person with OCD in suspense?
Me: By not answering this question. But I'm not that cruel. Also I hate you. * Burns book *
Me 2: There was no reason for that.
Me 3: WHY THE BOOK??!!
Me 4: It's just a video game, kids. Calm down.
Me: …I thought you died???
All: …
Me 2: We did. But we're all you, remember?
Me 5: Damn it. They're back.
Me: ?
Me 4: No.
Me 5: * pull blowtorch out of nowhere *
Me 3: HOE, DON'T DO IT! 😲
Me 5: * Burns everyone *
Me: OMG…
Me 5: Welp, I'm gonna go drown now. LATER ASSHOLE!
Me: wtf ·.·
Mom: * Outside my bedroom door * WHAT ARE YOU DOIN IN THERE??
Me: 😓 shit she caught me
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“I wish I could just eat my textbooks and gain knowledge.”
“So I’m used to doing the equation like this because as you know everything in Australia is upside down” -My Australian math teacher
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"Why are you all running to him?"
"Because he's a decent person."
"Well, you're not."
"I can't even argue. I terrorize small children for fun."
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"Three does not come after three, four comes after three, this is what happens when you're recovering from a cold."
-My History Teacher, just now
"And they're really proud to say, 'my ancestor was a murderer.' 'my ancestor was a bank robber'."
-Also my History Teacher, just now
I'm back in History my guys more updates will follow.
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"If you can't be the sharpest tool in the shed, then you can be the hoe instead."-Someone on the bus