Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!

"Dude, I think my brother took my pot brownies to his class!"

I have a MIGHTY NEED to know what happened after this conversation.

As do I

He hasn't been seen in a couple of days

“You just touched my dick that’s gay.”
“It was in a homie way.”
“No it wasn’t.”

“I’m a damn monkey you dumbass!”
(Much funnier without context, I think, because i actually don’t have the context.)

“Sonic should be THICC.”

(Dude that fandom's feral enough as it is they're scary don't encourage them lmao)

"the only joy I get in life is making all of my sims curvy goth lesbians"

“Sonic should be THICC.”

(He should be this

"Reasons band kids don't deserve rights: This."
This was said while pointing at a group of band kids complaining about bowties.

"Life hack: If you feel your leg coming loose and it kinda falls off, put it under your pillow, and the leg fairy will come. In the morning, look under your pillow, and you'll find a handicapped parking pass."

I’m dying

"What's Jesus's last name?"
"Isn't it Christ?"
"No, that'd mean Mary's last name is Christ too. Mary Christ??"
gasp "Her last name is Christmas"
"MAry Christmas!!!"

“They’re two halves of a bitch.”

"The difference between Gryffindors and Slytherins is that Gryffindors are egotistical maniacs and we're less ego, more maniac."

"Life hack: If you feel your leg coming loose and it kinda falls off, put it under your pillow, and the leg fairy will come. In the morning, look under your pillow, and you'll find a handicapped parking pass."

That stand up comedy routine is g o l d.

"The difference between Gryffindors and Slytherins is that Gryffindors are egotistical maniacs and we're less ego, more maniac."

As a Slytherin, I can confirm this.

FALSEHOOD. SLYTHERINS EGOS ARE WORSE THAN ANYONE’S.

Oh shit oh fuck you're right-
I'm legit a Slytherin because I want to be the best so yeah

I appreciate you agreeing with me but now the Pokémon theme song is stuck in my head