(same here)
Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!
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me: -walking past some 6th graders-
some random kid: com'n bro, hurry up, I'm hungry as a butt cheek
me -gives weird look-
My sister: Did they say New Zealand?
My dad: No. I'm not sure where they are but it's not New Zealand.
Me: I mean, I would've thought that was obvious from the way they drove five hours to somewhere else in the U.S.
My sister: Well I don't know where New Zealand is!
I'm from New Zealand
My sister: Did they say New Zealand?
My dad: No. I'm not sure where they are but it's not New Zealand.
Me: I mean, I would've thought that was obvious from the way they drove five hours to somewhere else in the U.S.
My sister: Well I don't know where New Zealand is!I'm from New Zealand
Would you mind confirming for her that it is not, in fact, a five hour drive from America?
My sister: Did they say New Zealand?
My dad: No. I'm not sure where they are but it's not New Zealand.
Me: I mean, I would've thought that was obvious from the way they drove five hours to somewhere else in the U.S.
My sister: Well I don't know where New Zealand is!I'm from New Zealand
Would you mind confirming for her that it is not, in fact, a five hour drive from America?
Definitely not! We are three islands next to Australia.
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Me: hey you lil pISS BABY–
My entire family: What's wrong with you
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"BE GAY DO CRIME! but six feet apart, stay safe."
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"We need some hand sanditizer."
Me: Happy Birthday, bitch.
Wall: It's not my birthday.
Me: …
Wall: …
Me: Then Merry Unbirthday, bitch.(I'm so lonely. 😢)
(HAPPY BIRTHDAY, IVY, YOU ARE THE SPECIAL BIRTHDAY [DEMONETIZED]—)
group
"You can't spell 'Luffy' without 'Illiterate'"
"what?"
Me: Happy Birthday, bitch.
Wall: It's not my birthday.
Me: …
Wall: …
Me: Then Merry Unbirthday, bitch.(I'm so lonely. 😢)
(HAPPY BIRTHDAY, IVY, YOU ARE THE SPECIAL BIRTHDAY [DEMONETIZED]—)
(I'm confused. What's demonetized?)
(Oh it's just a thing I say to censor stuff. It's like how a YouTube video might get demonetized if it has inappropriate content, meaning they won't put ads on the video)
Me: Happy Birthday, bitch.
Wall: It's not my birthday.
Me: …
Wall: …
Me: Then Merry Unbirthday, bitch.(I'm so lonely. 😢)
(HAPPY BIRTHDAY, IVY, YOU ARE THE SPECIAL BIRTHDAY [DEMONETIZED]—)
(I'm confused. What's demonetized?)
(Oh it's just a thing I say to censor stuff. It's like how a YouTube video might get demonetized if it has inappropriate content, meaning they won't put ads on the video)
(Oh, that makes sense now.)
Me: Happy Birthday, bitch.
Wall: It's not my birthday.
Me: …
Wall: …
Me: Then Merry Unbirthday, bitch.(I'm so lonely. 😢)
(HAPPY BIRTHDAY, IVY, YOU ARE THE SPECIAL BIRTHDAY [DEMONETIZED]—)
(I'm confused. What's demonetized?)
(Oh it's just a thing I say to censor stuff. It's like how a YouTube video might get demonetized if it has inappropriate content, meaning they won't put ads on the video)
(Oh, that makes sense now.)
(It was also a reference to this song)
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So, we were playing Minecraft with our science teacher. He has absolutely no idea how to do anything.
Mr.M: Whoever killed me is failing this class
Me: Kills him
Me: Sorry, have a door as an apology.
Him: Hits me with the door YOU HAVE GIVEN ME A WEAPON
Me: Kills him Not today Satan
"Ben is going to JFK me with his piss."
"Ben is going to JFK me with his piss."
This made me laugh way more than I should have
"I hate Olive Garden." *gasping from other students* "Yeah! Fight me! I make better spaghetti than Olive Garden!"
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"Your possessions, wench."
- Me, to my friend after carrying their bags
"But my kneecaps got to be worth something on the black market"
- Me, to my friends when convincing them to go to comic-con
"Don't. Touch. My. CORN!"
"Shots fired"
- Some kid in my science class after watching a water buffalo charge at a herd of lions
My friends are calling me "Zelda" to spite me. I came to school dressed as Link.
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My friends are calling me "Zelda" to spite me. I came to school dressed as Link.
nOooooO-
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"He's my boyfriend."
A random girl, talking about me, in front of me, in 8th grade
(DON'T ASK)
My friends are calling me "Zelda" to spite me. I came to school dressed as Link.
nOooooO-
Update: In between classes three people called me Zelda. Unironically.